Honesty

A question I'm asked frequently is

How do I tell people about my history with an eating disorder?

Before I went to treatment my eating disorder was my biggest secret. I told no one about it. Coming home from treatment I did a complete 180. I tried to be as open with everyone as possible. On my very first date with Scott I told him about my eating disorder. 

(He is sitting next to me as I write this so I asked him about it.) He says that he respected my honesty. As long as it was something in my past, not something I currently was doing- it didn't change his opinion of me. He also could tell that I was so happy and that was what initially attracted him to me. (That and my awesome hair!) 

I have found that whenever I tell someone new about my past, they react in one of two ways:

1. I had a cousin/friend/roommate/sister/girlfriend who struggled with that. 

2. I had that same problem.

 

In this country, sadly there are enough people who deal with eating disorders that almost everyone has met someone affected by one. 

No one has ever said 

1. But you're not skinny.

2. Wow. That must mean that you were stupid and weak.

3. This changes how I feel about you. 

I have found the best way to tell people is to just be upfront and just say, "I used to have an eating disorder. Now I'm really passionate about recovery." 

Often this moment comes when the typical "diet talk" starts. 

Telling people about my past gives me a great opportunity to keep myself in check. By telling everyone, I'm taking away the most powerful part of my eating disorder- the secrecy. I'm also giving others an opportunity to share with me any stories they might have. 

It can feel really humiliating and scary to tell people. It also feels really wonderful when they love and accept you anyway!