Recovery NOW

I hear many people saying that they cannot go to treatment because of all of their commitments. 

Let me tell you something- there will NEVER be a good time to go to treatment. 

No one has a significant chunk of time with no prior obligations and plenty of money. 

If you wait for the "right" time to get help, you won't ever do it. 

When I began my journey I was a week away from finals at college. It was two weeks before Chrsistmas. However, that didn't matter. I was dying. I needed help. I left before the semester ended and ended up with a few incompletes (some of my professors were awesome, others were not). 

I literally left my entire life behind and went off to another state. 

For the first few months I was panicked about all that I was missing. I missed Christmas with my family. I missed parties. I missed my friends. I missed the beginning of the school year. I felt like I was trapped in a parallel universe while everyone else was in the real world. 

It didn't help that many of the girls I was in treatment had severe traumas. We spent our therapy sessions talking about rapist grandfathers and abusive husbands. Then my friends would call and they'd complain about getting a B on a paper they worked hard on.

It was really difficult to keep up my "normal" friendships while fighting for my life. 

One of my closest friends from high school and college got engaged while I was in treatment. I really struggled that week. I just cried and cried. Part of it was feeling heart broken that I wasn't there to celebrate, but a big part was just plain envy. I wanted to be "normal." I was tired of dealing with my bulimia and anorexia every day. I was tired of discussing coping mechanisms and meal plans. 

Thankfully, I did end up going home before she got married and I got to watch her walk down the aisle! I also got to go to her baby shower the next year! :) 

Anyway... my point is- GO TO TREATMENT NOW. 

Don't wait. There is no excuse.

I saw women in treatment who had small children, who had husbands, who were in the middle of college or high school. I saw women that were 50, and girls who were 13. It is never too early or too late to get help. 

I felt that I was missing so much but what I was doing was giving myself a wonderful gift. Yes, I did spend Christmas, my birthday, and everyother holiday in treatment. However, all the work that I did there let me truely enjoy every day of the year.